Balancing It All As a Working Mom with Katelyn Denning

Certified Life and Executive Coach for busy, working moms, Katelyn Denning, joins me to discuss how working moms can have it all and balance it all whether heading into maternity leave, returning to work, or running their own business. From managing practical tasks and everyone's schedule, to chasing after your own dreams - you can feel fulfilled, calm, and successful. 

Connect with Katelyn: 
Website: https://www.themothernurture.com/ 
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/katelyndenning/
Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/lovemothernurture/
Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/1jeDD0M3KQ14GT7wBRerzU?si=e83e9a6bfcf8450f

Transcript

Britta Blanski  00:02

Welcome to the LinkedIn Lounge podcast today I have with us Katelyn Denning she is a certified life coach for working moms and the founder of Mother Nurture welcome to the show, Katelyn. 
  

Katelyn Denning  00:13

Hi, I am excited to be here with you. 
 
 

Britta Blanski  00:16

Yeah, I'm so glad to have you as a guest because I also know you recently launched your own podcast and you are a fantastic host and I've been enjoying every episode you've released so far. So I know that today you're absolutely going to be bringing the value and you're just like a natural podcaster so it's really cool to be here. 
 

Katelyn Denning  00:34

Thank you. Yeah, I like to say I'm 6 episodes in, still figuring it out, but I am having a lot of fun sitting down behind the mic. 

Britta Blanski  00:43

Yeah so do you want to tell us real quick, what is the name of your podcast for? 

Katelyn Denning  00:47

Yeah, the Life Coach for Working Moms, My title, but it's called The Life Coach for Working Moms podcast. 

Britta Blanski  00:54

Ok, so had leaning right into that right away how did you decide to be a life coach, in particular for working moms? 

Katelyn Denning  01:04

I was a working mom and I was looking for that kind of support so I feel like so many people start with something that they have experience with. And I have 3 kids they are at the time of our recording ten seven and five and. I worked corporate all my life and various jobs and was working full time when I had my first child. And I don't know if you can relate to this at all, but very, I was very productive, very career driven. I, you know, loved working i loved my job. And I returned to work after AI think I had about 12 weeks off for maternity leave and thought, oh, I'll get back and I'll just, you know, do everything the way it was before and I felt so overwhelmed, which was new for me. Always was really great at sort of managing everything and having a lot on my plate it was no big deal and suddenly I am not just working and caring for myself, but, you know, a whole other role and responsibility and I really struggled to just kind of prioritize and figure out how do I fit all these things? How do I have the energy for all of these things? And I was searching for support was introduced to the concept and, and the industry of coaching and really loved that it worked really well for me that proactive approach of, you know, where do you want to go what's next what are your goals and how do we make small but sustainable progress. And I, I struggled, at least at that time to find someone who brought or could teach me the skills that you learn when you are coached, but who could really understand the nuance and the balance and the oftentimes emotional experience of growing a career and also being there for my family and, and taking care of and growing my family. And this business started for me actually with writing. I would as a way to sort of process through all of of what I was experiencing and the challenges I was faced with that were felt so new to me i published blog posts on my website and then started, you know, considering this idea of what if other moms out there are looking for this kind of support as well and they want someone who understands what it's like to return to work after a maternity leave i used to travel, I did sales, how to how to pump and travel and do all of these things and still have a big impact in your career, but be a present parent and have that quality time as well so that's a maybe a longer answer than what you asked for, but essentially I started it because it was what I wanted. 
 

 Britta Blanski  04:12

Would you say and, and maybe in your journey to did you go back into corporate with your second child as well or had you already decided like I need to make a change or do you feel like, did you go back and you felt like it was even more difficult with the second or you're like, oh, no, I already did this with this for the first i should know what I need to do. 
 
 Katelyn Denning  04:33

That's a good question. And I, I'm, I'm sure everybody's experience is different so I had, I went back to that same company with all three of my children. So I have done three twelve week maternity leaves, three return to work and in some ways with the second and then with the third, there were things that I was better at. I, I knew a little bit more what to expect. I knew what sorts of things to bring with me to the office. You know how to make all of that easier on myself. I learned about buying, you know, duplicates of all of my pumping parts and all of those things, right, to just make the logistics of life easier. But it was interesting to me. I really wanted I was ready to return with my first. I missed that professional part of my identity and was excited to go back to the office and use my brain in a different way and have adult conversations and right not be at home with a newborn all day. But that piece actually got harder with each of my kids. It was it was more challenging to return with my second and so much more challenging with my third that I actually negotiated a little bit longer maternity leave, unpaid maternity leave to stay home. And it wasn't until my youngest was three three that I left corporate to coach full time. So I was building my practice and supporting clients alongside my corporate job so when I talk about managing a lot of things, I managed a lot of things. 
 
 

Britta Blanski  06:20

Yeah, you were managing a full household. You're nine to five and a side hustle. 
 
 Katelyn Denning  06:25

Yeah, I don't. Part of me looks back and I'm like, Caitlin, what were you thinking? 
 

Britta Blanski  06:31

Yeah, but it's cool to see how it all, like it all did come together, right and like you have the experience three times over and like a really intimate way that maybe other life coaches or people even in the workforce maybe don't relate to, which is why I think your services are also so unique and special and needed as well. So what would you, I'm kind of thinking of like two people right now i'm thinking, first of all, maybe there's someone who currently is expecting and they know that they're going to be coming up on the maternity leave soon. And I'm also thinking of the person who maybe they've had, maybe their kids are older, but they're still like kind of lost in that identity maybe they feel like a lot of turmoil. So we'll start with the person who's expecting first, like someone who is like foreseen a maternity leave. What advice would you give them in preparation for that? Maybe it's like unexpected they're like, Oh yeah, like I'll figure it out it's fine we've got the daycare lined up we've got the grandparents we've got, you know, like, I know the schedule, the logistics maybe they have figured out. What would be something that you would tell them to just kind of help them in that transition back into office after maternity leave. It's like, how could they make, I guess that's like, how can they make the most of those 12 weeks unless they've negotiated it to be longer, which is also I'd love to hear too that could be really helpful for someone to hear, just knowing that they can negotiate, that maybe they haven't even considered it. 
 

Katelyn Denning  07:55

Yeah, I I wouldn't have thought of that with my first I had no idea, but by my third I thought why not ask? What's the worst that can happen they say no. 
 
 

Britta Blanski  08:04

Right. 
 

Katelyn Denning  08:05

Yeah, so I, well, I'm like putting myself back in time and, and remembering heading into those, those leaves with my kids. There's a lot of the experience is different for everyone, but there's a lot of trust, I think that is required of you to step away to, for for those of you who love your job, like like I did, trust that someone is going to cover and take care of things in your absence that really the best thing you can do is to trust that the work is getting done and to fully step away. There's trust in yourself that after 12 weeks you'll find it again you won't lose it. I remember thinking about that. If I'm home for 12 weeks and I'm not working, will I forget everything will I be able to come back and remember how to do my job or how to send emails that sound professional and and then trust too in that transition back that you will figure it out? Even I think I've seen so many clients who and myself included, who want to really plan like you said, the logistics you so many women do or parents do a practice run with their childcare provider, which I think is so brilliant. You know, take a little bit of time to figure out what are what bags do you need packed in the morning if you're leaving the house or if you have childcare coming into the home like what do they need to think through all of the logistics? But then also there's that emotional piece and so actually when I've had clients who do that test run with a childcare provider, yes, it's for your newborn to maybe acclimate to a new space and to this new person who's going to be caring for them but I think it's just as much for the parent, for the mom to step away. And you go from 12 weeks of being with your child every day, all of the hours of the day and night, to then going back to work where you're separated for long stretches of time. And that can feel strange it's change and can be uncomfortable and so that practice is actually really good for you as well, I think to, to to anticipate what that might feel like on that first day so you're not going back to the office or back to your desk and thrown into, you know, daily life again oh my gosh, all of my projects or the client things I need to do. And you're also grappling with, wow, this feels so strange to be separated. Even if that's what you want, it's still a change. And so any of those types of things I think are good, are good practice to anticipate how different that will feel. 
  

Britta Blanski  11:09

Yeah, it's so good i think, too, as new moms, we often don't have trust in ourselves even with our newborn, right? Can I do this what did I get into? Is at the same time, you're balancing both of those i think it is just like a really important reminder that like, you do know what you're doing like you're totally capable, like your newborn needs you, right like you're more than capable for that job, but also like you are really good at what you do in the office as well. So like continuing to believe that and reminding it because that reminder might not come until you get closer, right you might be like, I'm fine you don't think about it, don't think about it and then you're like, oh, wait, you kind of shifted your like your mindset and your focus so yeah, that's really, that's really good. What about the person who is currently, you know, if they've gone back to work and they are struggling with that identity and balancing being a mom and being a professional? 
 

Katelyn Denning  12:03

How can? 

 Britta Blanski  12:04

Someone's like really, you know, they don't know what, maybe not even like they don't know what to do but if you can, I mean, that's your area of expertise if you kind of want to walk through that what are some of maybe the common questions or maybe even common phrases related to feeling guilt? And how can like, how do you help your clients kind of work through that and feel at peace with the decision that they've made and what they're doing and where they are? 
 
 Katelyn Denning  12:32

I work with a lot of clients who are more in this stage who have children who are out of the infant stage so toddlers, preschoolers, school age children. I mean, if this this these questions can come up at any stage, I guess to just normalize that and they will come and go each season as your kids grow, things shift for you, your career, right it's totally normal to be back in a place where you are questioning things. And I mean, it depends on on where the where those questions are coming up. If it's around that professional identity. I have clients who I think becoming a parent really shines a spotlight on these questions about what is my purpose with work? Am I doing something that's fulfilling? I hear a lot of times the phrase is my work quote unquote worth it. If I'm going to spend this time at the office, I want it to be something that feels worthwhile and, and I get that. I, I am sure I've thought some of the same things myself. And so it is taking a look at, well, what is your purpose in this season i think we put a lot of pressure on ourselves to make something really meaningful and, and part of my coaching sometimes is, is just to normalize that every season is different and there can be seasons where I've experienced this as well where you just want to coast a little bit. Your job, the purpose of your job or your work is to maybe provide health insurance for your family or a paycheck or to contribute to retirement. And that's OK. That serves a purpose. And then it's our work together is to make sure that any of the time that you have outside of the office, you can really be present and make the most of with your kids. If that is where you're feeling like your priority is in the season. But also, you know, might be in a place where work isn't as exciting as it used to be, or you're kind of like, I've been here for a while, I know what I'm doing. And it's also finding ways to learn or grow or change in ways that feel exciting to you. There's so much ownership that we can take over our experience, whether that's the experience that you have at work or the experience that you have at home with your kids. And in my coaching, it's so much about asking those questions to get you thinking about, well, what is it that you want right now? And you don't have to sit down and tell me, like in an interview, where do you see yourself in five years? I have no clue, right? If you're a parent, you know that developmentally, like seasons change so fast week by week, month by month. I'm talking right now for the next couple of weeks, for this month, for this transition to fall, whatever season you're in, like what is it that you want right now? What can we do to create that in small ways and just bring your attention to the things that that you can control about your experience again, whether it's with work or at home, whatever sort of the challenge is that you're feeling. 
 
 Britta Blanski  16:21

I bet someone's like, OK, yeah, that sounds great but I don't have time. I'm like, where am I going to find the time to do that like, I, you know, I'm scrambling in the morning i get to the office, I'm like, frazzled. Then I'm like rushing out the door to pick up my kids and then maybe they have sports or and you're like, I have no time for myself like, I can barely make dinner. So do you have any, like, strategies to help someone kind of manage their time? And if you also want to share, I know you had recently made time in order to earn a coaching certificate that you had been wanting to do for a while so you kind of want to share to maybe your personal experience on, you know, making that like something that you were passionate about a priority in your life and how you manage that with your family. 
 
 Katelyn Denning  17:08

Ok, yeah, let me try to touch on each of those and if I forget anything, remind me. Ok, that was such a beautiful transition that you made, because you're right. I, I think so many of us think about these bigger picture questions, but then we're confronted with reality, which is, like you said, my day is so full, I can't squeeze anything else in i'm barely keeping up as it is. There's no way I can sit down and even just stare out the window and think about these things, let alone journal or work with a coach. And that's why regardless of what anyone comes to me with, in terms of what is the goal, what do you want to change what do you want to create with your life the first steps are always how do you spend your time? Because until you can create some room, some space, some mental space as well from thinking about all the things you have to do there, there just isn't the capacity to think about anything bigger, you know so let alone so many of my clients talk about I just, I don't want to exercise regularly or I want to, yeah, meal plan. So those things are great but let alone think about the bigger questions of your life, like what am I creating what is my purpose? How are my relationships, right what's the culture I'm creating in my family at home all of these bigger goals that are so great. It starts with, yeah, how are you approaching each day what does your schedule look like? Is there room? And there almost always is for a better process in how you do things in a way to make the the daily, I'm going to say chores, responsibilities of life that include, you know, the regular things you have to do for work, taking care of your kids, life admin. If you have a home, there's so much that goes into that. How can you put more of those things on autopilot so that you have the space then to think about those bigger questions and challenges and so with my clients, it usually it doesn't usually it always starts with, I want to know, how are you keeping track of all of the things that you need to remember to do? And then as you look at your schedule each week and each day, how are you choosing what's most important? Are all of those things really necessary where do they fit? And then what are the, the regular routines that you have in place? Meal planning is a huge one that comes up, you know, how do we choose what we're eating how do I get to the grocery at a on a regular cadence and prep meals for, for all of these people? How do we make that so simple that it's just doesn't take that much effort or time and then slowly build those routines and processes in place? And then, then you start to feel, oh, wow, I'm not so rushed i don't feel like I'm squeezing so much into every nook and cranny. Now I'm ready to entertain the next thing that I want to maybe add in or the space that I want to just leave to consider some of these other questions. 
 
 Britta Blanski  20:28

Yeah, it's good and do you, I'm just wondering maybe if someone's listening and they're like, OK, that sounds great. And if you tell me to put it on autopilot, I'm like, OK, but I don't know where to start is that something that you do help your clients with are you like, we're going to make this list together, I'm going to help you like, is that a reality? 
 
 Katelyn Denning  20:44

Totally i was writing something this morning and and I the best comparison I could think of was a couple of years ago we hired our art we have a storage kind of a basement in our home and you know, it was just always overflowing with the baby clothes that the kids had outgrown and all of these things and I just thought I don't same same kind of thing as my clients i don't have the time. This is such a mess. It bothers me every time I walked in here i can never find what I need, but I don't have the time to do this. When this organizer came in right, she's not attached to any of the items in my basement. She held my hand through it we sorted through all the things, got it all into these bins it's labeled i now know where everything is it feels so good. That's what I do with my clients. I want you to give me access or share your screen if you're comfortable let me see your calendar let me see your To Do List or lack thereof. Tell me how you meal plan every week so that I can with this outside detached perspective, ask you some questions well, that's really interesting why do you why do you do it that way? Oh, it's actually this thing that we did, you know, we started years ago i hadn't even thought about it, but you're right that makes no sense. Ok, let's let's try something different or hear all of the ways that I meal plan that I've seen my clients have success with meal planning, which which of these sounds like oh, I might want to try that, that that could work for me and then go off and implement it so yeah, I'm, I'm making a lot of gestures with my hands, but I'm like picturing. I want to get my hands in there. I want to get dirty. I want to see everything that's going on and help you just look at a little bit objectively, how you're doing things, why you're doing things. 
 
 Britta Blanski  22:41

Yeah how long does that normally take, would you say if someone's like, OK, you know, they say like 21 days to build a new habit, like how like just to give some people like, you know, the listeners encouragement, like, you know, doesn't take a year, right it's like, how long does it really take to start seeing the, like, impact that that organization and thoughtfulness and intention can actually have on your daily life and yeah. 
 

Katelyn Denning  23:06

That's a great question. I want to pull some data on that. But but anecdotally, I'm thinking of a client right now that I'm working with and meal planning came up on our very first one-on-one session and two weeks later she has a new system in place when we check in every two weeks she said, OK, well there was this one piece that didn't work, but but overall I love the structure of that so she's going to go make another change and I would say 4 weeks, we're going to see that part of her life feel like, oh wow, this is so much easier than what I was doing before i don't have to think about it as much. So I want to say by the first month, a couple of those areas are already feeling like, you know, when you make a change and it's only been a week or two, but it feels like a lifetime ago. Yeah, starts feeling like that i would say for the first two months with my clients, we're really digging into all of those different things, schedules to do lists and and planning processes, laundry, groceries and meal planning, other routines we're really looking at those over the course of two months but even in a month you start to feel that difference. 
 
 Britta Blanski  24:23

Yeah, it's so cool. Would you be willing to share on how you made time for the executive coaching program that you recently completed? 

Katelyn Denning  24:32

Yeah, I it was such a good experience to remind myself of what that feels like to put something new into your life, because it had been a while since I'd done that. I feel like my routines and my schedules are very well oiled everything is running, and I dropped this big new thing into our life. And so I had been wanting to do an executive coaching certification for, I'm going to say probably years, and it just never felt right the kids were really young or schedules were full or my husband's job had changed, and I was exploring this program that came highly recommended to me. And it was six months long. Every Tuesday evening. It was a virtual program, which I prioritized so also it was like this experience of knowing what would work and what wouldn't and I just knew driving to Chicago, which would have been the nearest Center for any of these programs I was looking at, for these intensive weekends, was just too much. So every Tuesday night for two hours, coming up to my office at six thirty PM my time, there were multiple time zones represented in class so that was sort of the middle ground, which if you're a parent, you know, that's smack dab in the middle of chaos. It's like after work, we were getting home on average around five thirty, my husband at six, like trying to get dinner on the table And I would, you know, take my last couple bites of dinner and run away from the dining table like, see ya got to go and run up to class and sit down chewing my last few bites so it was a big shift and it was challenging at first for for mom to get up from the table and and leave for two hours my kids are like, where are you going you're not going to be with us. My husband. I would put the kids to bed most nights. You know, 8 wasn't done till eight thirty they were usually already in bed by then. And yeah, it, it was this big shift for us. And I think what we did going into it was you, you anticipate as best you can. So Tuesdays then became really easy dinner nights, I would choose breakfast for dinner or you know, something you could make really simple grilled cheese sandwiches so that I could have it done by 6, sit down with them. And then it was just this repetition of reminding everyone that Tuesday nights I'm not, I'm not going to be here. When my daughter had soccer in the spring, everybody had to go to soccer and I stayed home. So it was, you know, this is going to be different this is this is a change for all of us. And I were moments sure throughout class where I felt guilty for just being up here and not helping or doing anything downstairs. But it was a good reminder that I would say after a few weeks, maybe a month, it did start to feel like a part of our routine. And when I meal planned, it was like, oh, yeah, Tuesday nights, mom has class got to be an easy dinner. And my kids would say, Oh, yeah, mom, do you have class tonight? And when it ended after six months, that first Tuesday that I didn't have class, my kids looked at me and they were like, don't you have class? And I like, no, I finished, isn't that amazing i did six months of that. And, you know, I'm sitting here on the other side of that feeling so proud that I did that and going back to what we talked about in the beginning, you use the word capable, you know, trusting yourself and reminding yourself that you're capable. And yeah, I, I was capable. I was able to figure it out we were all able to figure it out and I'm so glad I did it. 
 
 

Britta Blanski  28:36

Yeah, it's amazing so what would be like a word of encouragement to send off to our listeners as like, I know school has started in some States and some people are about to start school so like as that whole schedule shifts and then maybe especially a mom who's like, I'm managing it, all my kids schedule the work schedule, new sports schedules, like if they want, but that also feels kind of like the same, right they're like tired of doing the same thing so if they want that like infused in an injection of something new in their own personal life, what would be like an encouragement that you could give them that like it's possible and like there is time for you to do that. 
 
 

Katelyn Denning  29:18

Yeah, I mean, like the word adaptable keeps coming to mind that you and your family will adapt to that. If that's something that you want and you can think through the logistics for and come up with a solution for most of the scenarios, you'll figure the rest out and everyone will adapt to the change. Whatever is coming up, whether it's school or sports or you're ready to do something new. You know, think I always kind of remind myself of remember when you have a baby and, and it feels like they're changing every few days. And as soon as you get used to the new nap schedule or the whatever, it changes and then we adapt to that, right that becomes the new normal. And so we're heading into a big shift in our lives soccer starts tonight, and that's the beginning of this chaotic fall season for our family and maybe I needed to hear this as well like, we are adaptable we will figure it out, and we're totally capable too. 

Britta Blanski  30:32

Yeah, that's so good all right thank you, Katelyn, so much if someone liked what they heard today, if it resonated with them, if they're like, I really need help, like, where can they find you where they can where can they connect with you and maybe even work with you?
 
Katelyn Denning  30:46

Yeah, well, if you want to just reach out and connect and follow up after this, you can find me on LinkedIn. Thanks to Britta i'm much more active over there and I'm loving that space and that community so you could certainly find me over there. And then also check out my website at the Mother <a href="nurture.com">nurture.com</a> for info on how I support my clients.
 
Britta Blanski  31:07

Thank you so much, Katelyn i really appreciate your valuable insight thanks for being here today. 
  

Katelyn Denning  31:11

Thank you for having me, it was such a privilege.