Joy generator and CEO of Leader Haven, Lindsay Harris, joins me to discuss how we can discover joy in the work that we do and what to do when we're not feeling fulfilled in our work. Lindsay shares valuable insight into the Working Genius model and how we can maximize our strengths while working together so everyone wins.
Connect with Lindsay:
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lindsay-m-harris/
Website: https://www.leader-haven.com/
Working Genius: https://www.workinggenius.com/
Joy generator and CEO of Leader Haven, Lindsay Harris, joins me to discuss how we can discover joy in the work that we do and what to do when we're not feeling fulfilled in our work. Lindsay shares valuable insight into the Working Genius model and how we can maximize our strengths while working together so everyone wins.
Connect with Lindsay:
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lindsay-m-harris/
Website: https://www.leader-haven.com/
Working Genius: https://www.workinggenius.com/
Britta Blanski :
Welcome to the LinkedIn Lounge podcast, a space where we dive deep into questions surrounding culture, community, employee engagement, employee experience and what it looks like to help be an active voice to improve our workplaces. Linkedin is an amazing place of connection and opportunity, so when you're willing to dive into that space and be a little bit vulnerable and lean into your authentic, genuine side when it comes to relationship building, you'll be surprised at what you find. So grab those earbuds, find a quiet space, and enjoy this conversation. Welcome to the LinkedIn Lounge podcast today we have with us Lindsay Harris she is the CEO and founder of Leader Haven, and she helps leaders rediscover joy and dismantle dysfunction so welcome to the show Lindsay, I'm so happy that you're here today. Why don't you tell us just a little bit more about what it looks like to dismantle dysfunction and rediscover joy?
Lindsay Harris :
Absolutely thank you, Britta, for having me this is exciting. Well, I really just have a passion for coming alongside a leader who is either feeling ill equipped to handle what's happening in their team environment or really just needs a boost, even for themselves personally. And I'm finding that so many people, we've gotten into a culture where we're exchanging an obligatory service for a paycheck versus finding joy in our jobs. So I'm really passionate about shifting that mindset to a place where, yes, you can find joy in your job 100 % and find help with dysfunction and I become that third party that comes in and helps you do that in a way that is constructive and healthy and puts everybody on a firm foundation of trust and ability to manage conflict in a healthy way so I do that through workshops and individual coaching, and I just love it i really do love coming alongside those leaders.
Britta Blanski :
So when I was looking at your LinkedIn profile, I will admit that the word joy really stuck out to me i was like, that's really cool and it caught my attention because I think you're right that we often don't associate work and joy together. There's just some, you know, like, oh, there shouldn't be joy so how would you necessarily? Well, I guess maybe how would you define joy but also, what does that look like in the workplace in a very practical, realistic way?
Lindsay Harris :
Absolutely so I think that there's a different we get happiness and joy confused as one in the same, and they're not the same. Happiness is more driven by our external circumstances, and it comes and it goes. Joy is more of a state of your soul and something that's just kind of like a wellspring and overflowing because of how you've really gotten in touch with what you're great at and what you love to do and the purpose you want to fulfill. When you live a life or do a job powered by purpose, it just you wake up differently every morning it's, you know, how we get exhausted just from burning out and working when you're doing something that fuels you and gives you that sense of joy, that's like a sustainable resource it just keeps going and keeps going so in the workplace, that looks like finding the work that you love and I do that through something called the working genius assessment. So while we do personality assessments, many of us know what those look like. Working Genius is only 20 % personality and 80 % productivity so it looks at what you what gives you joy and energy, what brings you fulfillment and when you kind of isolate that and make sure most of what you do is in that vein, changes everything it really does.
Britta Blanski :
Ok, So what would you do if you had a leader contact you and say, you know, things just aren't working, we need some help. And you wanted to get to kind of the root of what was causing this, right? And what if you discovered that they don't find purpose in their work and it doesn't feel meaningful and they don't feel fulfilled? Do you think there's a solution where that can be the outcome in the current role that you have? Or is it necessary to maybe change roles or change organization and make just like?
Lindsay Harris :
Yes, that's such a great question. I think it's both and a lot of times a role is just not a fit, and that's just the way it is and there's no landscape to have that conversation and people feel stuck like something's broken inside them. But when you realize, hey, this, like what I'm doing here, what's required of this job, and what they asked me to do is not what fulfills me, then we were able to have that conversation well, you know, what does it look like to move? Because a lot of people find that to be something that's just not permissible we just don't do that we stick with where we are we don't switch careers or switch jobs in the midst of something but a lot of times that's way more possible than we realize with some just conversation around what that looks like. But you can also find much fulfillment where you're at with some minor shifts in a lot of cases as well so that assessment gives us a talking a place of a common language to kind of talk about what that might look like and I find that leaders who do that with their teams, all of a sudden the team itself can start to talk about those shifts. As long as we know ahead of time that's OK to talk about in the room. And they become beautiful shifts people who never LED meetings will lead a meeting because they actually have some skills that they enjoy doing that, and it takes that burden off of someone who hates it. But we never would have had that conversation before because it wasn't part of their role. If that makes sense like, why would I lead a meeting that's not my role, but suddenly open that door to a conversation like that and it's just a lovely thing to see that happening on teams and see people opening up and doing things they were just never really given permission to do before.
Britta Blanski :
Yeah so what would be the first step to showing people that it's OK to talk about it, right because you're like, maybe you can't just like, well, maybe you could, but just walk in and be like, all right, guys, we're talking about this today and they're like, no, we're not.
Lindsay Harris :
Absolutely.
Britta Blanski :
Doing that.
Lindsay Harris :
Yes, well, I'd say that for somebody just checking things out, if you go to my LinkedIn page, I've written several stories about what's happened on teams I've worked with. So that's a great starting place for someone who's like, I'm not ready to reach out to you. I just want to know more about how this works because a lot of times the tool itself is what's that's the actual starting place because everyone learns the model together, they establish that common language we all have the same understanding as we talk about this thing and we're not trying to convince people of anything it's just, hey, this is how this works. Here are your geniuses, here are the things that frustrate you the most. And let's talk about how that applies to your current role and so usually when I work with a leader, one-on-one we've established all that up front. So there's no surprises in the room. They're on board with what we're doing they're OK with what happens in the room it's my job to manage it along with their help so yeah, it kind of that works out really in a nice way versus just coming in and saying let's try this, you know, let's just have this discussion. It's just a common platform to have that discussion and it's exciting and fun too. It's easy to do.
Britta Blanski :
Yeah, it's great i love how it kind of puts everyone on the same page initially, right it's not necessarily a talking down to in the sense, you know, I'm managerial speaking to you as someone below me, but we're all together to all discover and learn together.
Lindsay Harris :
Yes, absolutely.
Britta Blanski :
So would you talk a little bit more of just explain what does the working genius look like what are the different results that you could get if you take this test Or I mean I'll explain it a little bit more i'm curious, and I'm sure listeners are too.
Lindsay Harris :
Yes, absolutely well, and you know, it's funny i was just telling you before we started them in my husband's office, not mine, because we're it's early here and they're getting ready for school. But I just realized that was on his board as I walked in. That is the model widget. The IT spells widget. And so there's six working geniuses. How nice did that work out there? There you everyone has two geniuses, two working competencies and two working frustrations and they're not necessarily in order so for example, I am AWD, that's wonder and discernment. The model is laid out in the work process, so the first two are the ideation phase, the second two are activation, and the third two are implementation. So you may find you have geniuses in multiple areas of the work process, but every single genius is necessary for getting any job done, any job done. And that's where, like, eyes begin to open and people realize we skip stages a lot of times we'll have a huge brainstorming session in that ideation phase and jump immediately to implementation and that's when things don't work out well because nobody discerned what idea was the best idea, how this was going to play out, you know, down the field. So that's just one example of how that model applies and we start to lay out, hey, this is what's missing on your team even you may not have every genius on your team, and that matters and then we were able to have discussions about how to fill those gaps and make the entire work process more productive so it's helpful individually because we stop guilting ourselves over things that we're just not good at. I am not an inventor. If you ask me to come up with ideas on the fly, I it's painful for me i can do it, but it's painful and it drains me in a heartbeat so realizing that asking me to get better at that is like asking an introvert to become an extrovert. We don't do that, right that's not that just doesn't work so those are the types of conversations that open, that open up as you look at the six things and start to realize how people are gifted and then how they just find frustration and other things it's a ranking and not a rating, so there's no guilt if you don't have one of these, every single one of them matters, which is what I love about it because suddenly people who are in the execution phase, a lot of our folks who are doing project management and administrative tasks and really chasing things down and getting them done, sometimes they devalue themselves i find that, well, I'm just helpful. I'm just a helpful person that's what I do. It is just as valuable as the beginning stage, as the person who stands up and rallies the team all of that, all of it matters. And so we begin to look at each other differently we don't judge each other when things don't go well because suddenly it's like, ah, that's something that frustrates you. I love it let me help you with that. And we have different conversations so yeah, it's just, I love it it's a beautiful thing.
Britta Blanski :
Yeah, I have so many questions i'm like which one do I ask first because I don't want to.
Lindsay Harris :
Really.
Britta Blanski :
So I guess the first one would be, is it necessary to have all you said there's six, correct, to have all six on a team working together?
Lindsay Harris :
Or can you?
Britta Blanski :
If something is lacking, we.
Lindsay Harris :
Recommend having all of them. So especially if you're coming close to a hiring phase, it's worth considering what that looks like because what you're doing if you're we have what we call working competencies there's again the two working geniuses 2 working competencies, 2 working frustrations. Frustrations are what they sound like normally those drain people, but your competencies are where we get burnt really bad we call them stealth, joy killers, because you can be really good at something and people ask you to do it, and that feels good to your ego. But when you do it over an extended period of time, sudden you're burning out over an extended period of time. So asking people to tap into that when it's not their genius can work in the short term, but it's just not recommended over the long term. And it opens sometimes it's not possible and you have to get creative and I'm here to help you know, get creative in the short term but I'll always say you need to hire for that you're missing that that's why people are getting frustrated that's why this keeps happening because ideally they're placed over here and that's what they lean into more so than what you're asking them to do on an ongoing basis, so.
Britta Blanski :
All right that's a perfect segue because the other question was at what point should people implement this into their process like, you know, when you're going through the hiring phase and you're interviewing, should it be part of the selection process to do this or do you do it afterwards or I'm sure a lot of people now are doing it as an emergency, like help, you know, intervention tool but in a perfect world, where does this model come into place?
Lindsay Harris :
Ideally you do use it in the hiring process just to open up the conversation, even because someone could be sitting across from you saying yes, I love all of this on this job description. I can execute, I can lead a project. But then when you look at their working genius, if they're more in that ideation phase and they're a brainstormer and a questioner and frustration is implementation, then while they can do it, you're setting them up for failure. So you're able to open up the door to say, hey, let's talk about this assessment. And not every assessment's accurate. Sometimes people answer from a weird place of what they were doing in the job before versus what they really love and enjoy so it's always worth having the conversation. But then you can sit across from someone you're thinking about hiring and say this sounds like what you really love. This is what the job requires. I just want to make sure you're aware of that and you feel OK about it so that it opens up the conversation they can still say yes, I love it, I need the job, let's do it and then it's up to you whether you lean into that because it might be the only option you have, but you've we've already laid that on the table this is what we said the job requires. We don't feel good about what that's going to do for you. So it's up to you whether you still want to pursue it or not. It changes the conversation and I have done that emergency thing in the last two weeks where someone I haven't even done an assessment for yet, had to let someone go and it's hiring. And we're looking at this and two people she's loved personally, they said all the right things. But when you look at what the job requires and what they're really good at, they're missing a key element of that job so that's it's important to look at I think.
Britta Blanski :
Yeah, Well, it it's really intriguing to me because I think it could be a really beneficial tool to understand and use even in what you put out in your recruitment marketing like how do you write a job post and how do you define those six different areas and how can you verbalize it specifically for the industry and role that person will have, right because if you could immediately eliminate that, you would save yourself a lot of time and I think a lot of people are just, they know what they're supposed to say so many of us are like, Yep, just say this just say mom like you're checking the boxes because you just want to get to the next step. Not even really, considering how it's going to affect your joy or your well-being your mental health and, you know, a statistic approach to what you're doing.
Lindsay Harris :
Right, absolutely we just want to win we want the job or we might need it really badly. But even knowing that just a few more days and pursuing something that really sing, like makes your heart sing and what you do could change everything for you. One of my favorite stories the developer of the model is Patrick Lyncioni from the Table Group and he tells the story about just being in his book, about being just unhappy, bouncing job to job and doing these things he was so good at and couldn't figure out why he's so unhappy. And This is why it wasn't, he wasn't working within his geniuses. Quick shift and suddenly here we are and he's, you know, he's doing what he loves, others are doing what they love, and everybody wins when that happens.
Britta Blanski :
Why do you think more companies aren't currently using this? Like, why has the personality test been so predominant? absolutely.
Lindsay Harris :
Actually, because it's so new, I think it's, i'm not sure i'm probably misspeaking i want to say three or four years it hasn't been out long at all, maybe not even that long. Hundreds of thousands of people have already taken it but I really think it's more of an awareness thing. We are used, used to the personality assessments, which all have their merits and help you learn more i mean, they're all wonderful this is just very different because it's applied to work and it's quick and simple it takes 10 minutes to take it and very accurate in most cases again, some people can be in a headspace where they're like, well, this is what I do in my current job and what I'm really good at. So I'm very careful when we're taking it hey, this is how we answer these questions, not what you're good at, what brings you joy and energy the most and then we usually end up in the right place, so.
Britta Blanski :
Yeah, that's good that's another great segue because there was something you mentioned earlier that I was like oh, that's really good you said I'm going to forget if you're if you're doing something that's one of your competencies, like you're continually asked to do something that you're competent at, but it doesn't bring you joy, that's a stealth joy killers. So my question was, would you be willing to give some examples of what our joy givers life giving joy? And then what are other examples that we might not necessarily be aware of that are actually joy killers?
Lindsay Harris :
Yes, absolutely and I can give my example. It's different for everybody, though so what's a joy killer for me might be something that's a genius for you, Britta. I think I mentioned, I'm wondering discernment, which both of those geniuses are questioning geniuses the wonder genius questions the big picture always, like where I might look at someone and say, how does AI affect your business i think that's fascinating let's talk about it. And if they don't have the wonder genius, they're thinking, why I don't have time for that. You know, why are you asking me this question that's not a question I want to answer right now, but it's core to who I am it's what I enjoy discernment is actually questioning ideas that this inventor person invented. So they're saying, oh, these are great ideas, But you have we thought about this? Let's refine it and those two go back and forth and refine ideas, whether that's you know how we're going to approach a problem, how we're going to move forward on a project it could be any element of the work process that they're, you know, ideating on. And I'm a discerner, so I'm like full of questions and that can offend people who aren't. They're not and so if you put someone in a in a role where those questions are important, that's a great example the person I mentioned that I was helping with hiring discernment is critical in that role. Knowing how the pieces and parts fit together and being able to discern that you know this is not going to work downstream i need to think about this now is critical so if you lack that, it doesn't mean you're broken it just means it's not something that brings you joy to a discerner like me i think how can you not question everything? But we start to realize and start judging. Stop judging each other. That's just not something you do now that I've talked to somebody who doesn't discern, they say, Oh no, I just want you to tell me where to go. I'm in. I'm in the execution phase over here i like to make sure the team can move forward and get barriers out of the way and check the box on the list. Tell me what you want me to do i will get it done i will help you. But don't make me sit and think about it. So that's an example of somebody can do it if you really want them to do it can just be really painful over, especially over the long haul, if that's critical to their job. Or it can show up in deficiencies like where a leader's sitting and thinking like I just said, how could you not question that? How could you move forward and not see that this is going to happen? And again, it's not because anybody's broken it's just because that's not their genius. So if you can carve out a role or shift their role to where that's not critical, great if you can't, sometimes shifting teams around, that's easier done than we realize not easier said than done easier done than we realize is when we actually start to realize how people are gifted and where they might serve the team best. So that was a long answer that was.
Britta Blanski :
Great no, it's so good and it was. It was making me laugh because I was feeling like, so this would be just great, a great assessment for anyone in any relationship i'm like thinking even, you know, like.
Lindsay Harris :
Oh, 100 %.
Britta Blanski :
Why like, oh, you want to talk about it no, you want to get it done no, you want to support, right it's kind of with like the five love languages and personality, like it's an important aspect of your whole, of who you are, you know, in the way that you think and work.
Lindsay Harris :
Yes, it changed my husband's and my relationship. So my husband is discernment and tenacity is that box checker they're the people who nothing would get done if we don't have tenacious people. They're the ones who are reminding you something needs to get done because we must check that box and move this thing to completion by the standards we set for the project. So we both have discernment. When I sit on the couch with him and start questioning, he'll tell me about something happening during his day. Whereas if I ask questions at work, those questions are respected and accepted. For him, it felt like I was insulting his decision process because he's already done it and he's already moved into tenacity so another important thing about this model is that when you do it right, we shouldn't be going backward. There's no reason this is why when you're in a meeting that's an execution meeting and somebody goes have we thought about maybe we should go back and re evaluate all the people in that execution phase are want to strangle them because it's jarring it and it doesn't feel right where we're at in the process. On the flip side, if you're a brainstormer in the ideation process and we're having a brainstorming meeting and someone in the execution phase says well that's not going to work because of XYZ that that's equally jarring so we start to realize that too and it shifts our meetings but all that to say it made a difference on the couch with my husband because once we did this assessment together, now we have a different way to talk to each other the it's a common language and I can say, hey, discernment man, this is my discernment do I have permission to ask you some questions just because it's what I do and I love it and it fulfills me. You can, you know I'm not insulting you, or you can tell me no, but that's what my entire being wants to do right now and he's. He laughs at me now and says sure and we have really interesting conversations.
Britta Blanski :
So that's fantastic and I just like I, you know and I'm I hope this picks up more and that more people really grasp onto it and you know, you did mention that it's relatively new compared to so many other assessments and tests that are out there, but it just seems like it is, you know, it's so critical to understanding how we process and think and work together, which, you know, I feel like everything but does happen within the workplace does overflow into our personal lives you know, again to that if you can find joy in work, then you'll probably be well, happier and better well off in your personal life as well.
Lindsay Harris :
Absolutely and it flows throughout that's what's so beautiful like we were saying early on, you know, it joy doesn't have to be limited and when it happens all day long, it's just a different. It's just different. It's so different in such a wonderful way, so helping people find that is it's just really rewarding for me to see those light bulbs go off and suddenly things shift for people.
Britta Blanski :
Yeah, so would you be willing to share a little bit about how you got into this work of helping other people find their joy and share it with others, 'cause I know this wasn't what you always did, correct?
Lindsay Harris :
No, I have 20 years of combined corporate and nonprofit experience. And i really, you know, I talk to people a lot these days i'm starting to really realize that we feel like we have to have it all figured out, like coming out of college or we got to know our purpose then. And you know, with now 20 years behind me, I look back at that and think, no, I think there's a purpose and a thing for every season. But after 20 years of experience, I looked backward and said what I've loved the most about everything I've done is being alongside a leader that is lonely, feeling unfulfilled, feeling like they don't have a safe place to talk about what they're struggling with, and then come alongside them and share what I've learned over the years. And so I decided that's what I wanted to do with the rest of my career, whatever that looked like. And that started as individual coaching, which I still do and love but I found the working genius along the way, and I really do think it's such a beautiful model and an easy tool for teams to adopt without it feeling heavy and complex that I moved into that and joy became a theme throughout it so I kind of leaned into that, finding joy in your work, because whether we're talking individually about what's burdening you and what you don't feel safe saying out loud, you know, in your workplace for various reasons, it could be because you feel like you have to have it all figured out. A lot of executives are in that spot where it's like, gosh, I wouldn't dare utter that out loud because I'm the leader, you know, or you are the leader and there's certain things you can't say to your team because it affects the ability to lead well, we all want to be real and authentic, but there's still sometimes a safe space needed to kind of process through all those things so all that to say, all of those things lead toward joy, and I think the work in Genius is a great tool to get there. But I also think just having conversations sometimes is an easy way to get there. Looking at mindsets that don't serve us well, looking at how imposter syndrome affects us and what we're telling ourselves from years of experience, that isn't necessarily accurate looking at what we value versus what we're actually doing. I think all of those things matter and lead to joy, and that ends up being a purpose conversation, which work in Genius contributes to. So it's just all kind of this big interconnected web. Every situation is different and joy is at the heart of it. So I find myself to be a joyful person. I call myself a joy generator. So I really leaned into that heavily after doing this for a while and just decided that's the thing that's what we could all use more of, especially, you know, moving the world get seems to get crazier and crazier every day. Things are changing faster every day. So finding that joy in the midst of it is really important, I think.
Britta Blanski :
You touched on something that I think we should, you know, we should highlight and maybe if you would go into maybe a little bit deeper, which you did already start to answer a little bit, But the fact that many leaders and executives are very lonely and they can't say what they need to say. So it almost seems like a paradox, right like, oh, as a leader, everyone is kind of following, but then they actually find themselves quite isolated so kind of in a twofold question, here is one is why do you think that is like, why? Why is that a common theme and then what's a practical way apart from being like every leader should have a coach and every leader should hire Lindsay that would be great and that's like what could someone, you know, if someone's listening to this and they're like, wow, that's me, I do feel like I can't speak to someone or that's not safe to say like what would be practical things that or even an employee, you know, our team members like wow, maybe my someone you know that I work with is feeling that how could I support them, yeah.
Lindsay Harris :
Absolutely i think perspective is everything and I say this a lot when I post or when I'm talking to people, whether it's me or friend or someone that's in your sphere, that you find to be wise and just really good at that discernment piece we talked about asking questions and pulling out of you what's really true? I think it's important to have that safe space a lot of times it can be a circle of friends i've worked with leaders who've established really solid relationships with leaders and other companies or other business owners, other nonprofit leaders, and they have this really tight circle of folks they trust where they can go talk about things that you may not talk about with your team. I think self-awareness and authenticity are fantastic and i coach my folks to lean into that but it only goes so far because your team trusts you to have all the answers. There's a line there, a very fine line of if I'm too out there with everything I'm struggling with that begins to tilt a little and i think they feel that inherently like interlumpet, they feel that and so there's a slight wall there even for the most real leaders that I just can't talk about this, I can't talk about this thing and I need a safe place to go do that. And not everyone has that. And it's not something you can always go establish overnight. So I'd say practically being on the lookout for it always like, did I really resonate with that person that I met at that networking event let's just spend more time together we don't have to be weird about it and I latch on and but you know, even just, you know, I really respect kind of how you approach situations i'd love to learn from you. Just those, you know, brief conversations can lead to something really powerful. If we're open to them and make space for them i think they matter because we let that tension out of feeling unsafe and feeling like we're alone because that in itself, when it's trapped, is just, it can just really, you know, build on itself and put us in a negative place that we don't have to be in so.
Britta Blanski :
Yeah, yeah i think that's just so important to finding time to cultivate relationships outside of the office, right, Like outside of your work because we think we're all kind of, we're seeking deeper communal aspects within our in our life. And we kind of like where does that happen what happens at home, with family, maybe with the friends you already have within the office but it's like, OK, am I intentionally going to go out of my way to find other people who are in a similar situation? That's really hard, you know, but it takes a lot of intentionality so apart from like maybe a networking event, do you have advice to someone on where they could go to find those relationships?
Lindsay Harris :
Absolutely i know there are, there are free organizations for CE OS or you know executives where that's the intention so I would look for that, whether it's a Google search, I'm glad to provide some recommendations if we need them in the show notes but just looking for organizations geared toward that because I think they're popping up more and more every day and it may feel a little cold that I have to go join this organization to do it. But what's the alternative that's what I'll often say to folks, this is, check it out worst case you'll say these are not my people and move on to another solution, but often these folks are around us and we are. We haven't perked up kind of like the car analogy when you see a certain type of car or you buy a certain type of car, suddenly you see them everywhere. Now that we're having the conversation and we say who is that person who you've thought to yourself, gosh man, they seem really grounded in how they handle things and what they do. Just reach out, just do it, take the risk and say I'd love to have coffee with you i'll buy you coffee if we can just chat i just want to ask you some questions and you know, just ask about their career, ask and get to know them. A lot of times that leads into a certain direction and if nothing else, you gain perspective and another connection, even if that person isn't the person. So I think it just takes a little bit of intentional looking and work in your sphere just to see who's out there not even just networking at a networking meeting like, who do I know right now right around me in what I do?
Britta Blanski :
Yeah, that's good that's a great question. Another one I wanted to ask was how can we become more self aware because I think a lot of us maybe think we're self aware and then Oh no, actually I had no idea so.
Lindsay Harris :
What what?
Britta Blanski :
Is to move into a greater self-awareness and just in general I think you know of your role or leader or whatever you're doing but if you want to become more in tune of you know of who you are yourself and what's happening around you, what can we do?
Lindsay Harris :
I think it's really important to be open to feedback and ask for feedback that's one of the first steps in becoming self aware is not assuming we know what people think about us, or about anything really and starting to get curious i think curiosity is a big piece of self-awareness Let me stop thinking about what I know and what I want and how I'd like people to behave and get curious about what they think, what they see, how they observe things and respect that for what it is versus judging it for being different from who we are i think that gap is where we start to close, close the self-awareness gap is when we lean into being receptive to how other people think and feel doesn't mean you have to feel the same way. It's just being open to it and learning that then makes you more open and learn yourself other perspectives and other ways of looking at things so I think that's one really big step. There are so many great resources out there with tools and then you mentioned you know so many of us think we're self aware and we're not i think it's Tasha Urick. There's a percentage on that i want to say only 10 % of people who think they're self aware actually are. That's a huge, that's huge so if you're listening and you think you're self aware, 90 % of us are actually not measurement of it. So that curiosity that being open and actually taking that step is so important because it's eye opening sometimes that you think one thing but that's not, that's just not the way it is even for how people respond to you or receive how you approach them so yeah.
Britta Blanski :
While you were saying too that's a big step to start asking you this. I think it's a huge step because first you have to kind of understand, OK, what am I going to ask what's worth asking but then also knowing that what you're going to hear is probably going to be something that you don't want to hear like you have to be willing and open to hear something i don't want to say negative, but challenging. It's going to kind of rub you the wrong way and most that's probably why we don't even, you know, enter into that realm of OK, I'm going to ask this, like, I'll just keep it quiet.
Lindsay Harris :
Well, and that negative feedback is almost a form of conflict for some people, and people are terrified of conflict. So if that's a big deal for someone, I'd say that having that trusted source, not even somebody to be your safe space for everything, but someone you trust to be honest with you and you trust their perspective. I'd start there. Maybe not ask people that work for you immediately, but start with someone very trusted to say, all right, I want to ask you a couple of questions. What do you love about interacting with me? Like something to that effect simon Sinek asks a question like that i can't remember how he asked it, but it's something to that effect what do you love about us being together? About me? Now tell me what are like the top two things you find irritating about me or you would just think maybe that could shift a little bit and be open to the answer like, don't ask it if you can't receive it, but even say out loud, I'm nervous about what you're going to say i don't do this often. So just know nervous about it and that I think saying that out loud even creates A safer space to say I'm not perfect, I'm human and this is, you know, this is hard but the more here's, here's the other thing I found, the more we do that and we realize that what's on the other side of it is actually really wonderful and helpful and we can grow from what we're doing there. The more you have those successful experiences, the easier it gets. And so the more we push those off we kind of hold ourselves apart from growth that could have been amazing and taking us to a whole new place. So if you just take that risk say like two or three times and experience it, I feel like that hump gets lower and lower and we just I now run toward conflict. Let's do this. I'm ready for this i've seen it work i know it's going to be great we just have to get through it, so.
Britta Blanski :
Yeah, well, what you're saying too is how so many of us are afraid of conflict. And I'm just imagining to myself someone coming, you know and saying here, can you please tell me honestly what? Or you know something that you.
Lindsay Harris :
Would.
Britta Blanski :
Improve or something that bothers you or I said, you know, in my own avoiding conflict style, I'd be like no, not it's not much, I don't know nothing really so it's like I also too to be willing to the audience yeah so it really is a two, you know, it does take two to really you know enter into that space where growth can happen.
Lindsay Harris :
And leaving room for processing, sometimes you can say, hey, here's what I'm going to come ask you so that I don't put you on the spot would you really carefully think about it because I know everyone has something and I'm you know me better than anyone so you know, if it's someone you trust that much, I think it's nice to give that space and say I'm not going to let you off the hook i really do want those negative things.
Britta Blanski :
So that's a, that's a gold nugget right there like tell them in advance or give them to answer so yeah, I think if we're all put on the spot, we're like, no it's fine not that you're like, you're perfect, right?
Lindsay Harris :
Yes, absolutely.
Britta Blanski :
Wonderful well, Lindsay, if there is someone here listening that really liked what you had to say, and they're interested in using the working genius, and they're looking for that joy in their work and in their role, where can they find you where can they connect with you where can they learn more?
Lindsay Harris :
100 % yeah. You can find me at leader dash haven dot com. You can contact me through the website but I'm also on LinkedIn. I think I'm Lindsay Dash M Dash Harris. Sometimes I'm hard to find, but I also have a leader haven page, so LinkedIn or the website You can sign up for my E newsletter just to get tips on a regular basis and that'd be yeah, I'd love to be in touch with someone, even for just a free you know, complimentary Hey, let's talk about what's happening for you. Often I can offer value in that initial conversation and just kind of help you take a next step even if we don't engage in something together i love to do that 'cause I just it's my passion to come alongside people who are struggling. So please reach out i'd love to talk with you.
Britta Blanski :
Yeah, I love that and I will say for all her listens to Lindsay does ooze joy even just speaking with her today. So I encourage everyone to go and connect with her, chat with her, engage with her because she is a joy so thank you so much for being here today i really appreciate it.
Lindsay Harris :
Thanks Britta thanks for having me.